Jaimie

My name is Jaimie, and I’m a sinner. This is the most important label that has ever been taught to me, and it changed my life. As I sat in a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center (WARM) the label that had been given to me for so many years was: Jaimie, the alcoholic. Sitting broken inside that facility I was hopeless with a pinned label that I saw no escape from. That all changed one morning when God crossed my path with a loving woman who told me we are all sinners, but more importantly she told me of a true, everlasting solution. The solution is faith in Jesus Christ. She challenged me to memorize a scripture that began a journey that defined my purpose, Romans 10:9 “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” 

My desire to get sober started in 2017. Alcohol had already destroyed my marriage, emptied my bank account, broken the hearts of my loved ones, and stole my ability to be with family members on their last days of life. I was addicted to alcohol and the devil would happily use anything to keep me that way and away from God. I would drink until the last day that I saw any way of getting away with it and stop before I would lose a job, or lose another loved one, but I always found a reason to drink again. I became pregnant and I stopped drinking for my baby, but the devil knew it wouldn’t last because I was worshiping a baby now and the abusive man that fathered that baby. The burden of all of this trauma, without God, continued to sink me lower into a pointless foundation. I began to drink again to block out my bruised body and my low self-worth at the hands of a man I continued to claim I was in love with. When I let him into my life for the last time it was a whirlwind of pain until he was arrested for the domestic violence event in which he attempted to take my life. When I returned to my apartment, I resolved with myself that I was going to pick myself up and move forward with my son, and not let this man control my life anymore. Before that thought had any chance to grow, I received a call about my brother’s sudden death. How was this all happening to poor me? To Satan’s delight, poor me decided the solution would be to start drinking again. With zero accountability, and zero guilt for my behavior there was no question when CPS was called, and ultimately decided to take my son. I watched helplessly as my baby was removed from his mother who was deemed unfit and dangerous as a parent. The heavy drinking that followed this landed me in the hospital in a medically induced coma in hopes to save my life from the damage of the alcohol, as Ephesians 2:12 tells me “I was without hope, and without God”. 

 I now know that God was moving me exactly where He needed me to be. In a seat in a rehab center, to hear the Gospel clearly, to be introduced to Riverbend church and learn from people who worship only one thing, God. My life transformed from being all about me to being all about Jesus. I began to realize God’s hand in every single event of my life. The good times were obvious, but I came to learn more is the absolute enormity of God is displayed to me during the most difficult trials of my life. He wrote my story, and He chose the perfect day and moment to save me. It would be great to say that my life has been perfect and wonderful since that moment, but life still goes on and the World continues its temptations, and I struggle with sin every day. The difference is that I feel bad about those sins. My pattern of lying and manipulation ends with God because there isn’t a single part of me that he doesn’t know. He knows me, ALL of me, but he never turns away, he doesn’t judge me unfairly, he doesn’t give up on me. He loves me, shows me mercy and gives me endless grace. I no longer lean on alcohol for comfort, I lean on God. HE is my comfort.

God reunited me with my son in His perfect timing. His timing felt like an eternity to me, but God never left my side and never left me without comfort. God humbled me so deeply that my assurance of Him grew deeper and my love for Him fonder with each day. Hebrews 13:5 promise is so clear as God promises “I will never leave nor forsake you” and I know this is true.

Thanks to God, and the safe living and structure at Foundations to Freedom, a sober living community, I haven’t had a drink in nearly two years. I haven’t thought about it in about the same amount of time. This has nothing to do with me, this is Christ in me.